SCARED TO BE LONELY

ALL my life I caved being loved by the right people. My mom was taken away from us while we were still growing  and well, my position in the Family didn't help it either.

Yes, you guessed right Am the Last born.

I grew up lacking all the Love my mother would’ve offered and it affected me badly 

I took every little show of affection to heart and turned it love and that was where my problems started.

In every stage I advance in life I felt this dark feeling clouding my senses and mindset. The outcome?

I became depressed and whenever I met someone new it feels as though am normal again. 

I felt what my heart has been seeking out for was Love which is not all a lie.

But I was depressed and the only way I could express myself was through writing. Every one around me faked love and care.

So I gave up and my problems started swallowing me up I became so thin that people thought I was sick.

I usually read novels and it seems to keep the demons at bay but anytime I took a break it all came rushing back to me.

The environment didn’t help either no friends and all that. I became Lonely and scared I thought Love was everything.

I searched for it, looked for it, cried for it..

Making research, I started attending some healing programs.

After some classes. I found out that Emotional abuse is one causes of depression, when you are not considerate of another’s feelings.

I started healing when I learnt to love myself first. To not let people’s words affect me.

Understood that I should always put myself first knowing when to say no to things that won’t make me happy.

I started socializing myself with positive people, built self respect and confidence and I conquered!

Now as I walk, I walk with my shoulders high and my head up because I am proud of who I am now and who am to become.

And sometimes when that feeling threatens to return I leave a reminder of who is in charge.

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